sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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