What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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