First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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