Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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