after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just want nice things and good sex
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
