I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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