1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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