My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
