I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
