The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
