check it out our google latitudes are spooning
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
