I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize