Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
