i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
