just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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