This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
