I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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