think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
