I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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