No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
