too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
