Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I think a kid would responsible me up
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
