Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
