to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
