There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
