Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
