just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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