So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
