i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I cut my penus on the lid.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
