He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
