Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
