The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
