so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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