I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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