Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
