On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
