Swine flu. Run for my life!
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
