I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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