dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
