Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
