How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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