just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
