She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
