Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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