She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We just shotgunned beers for America
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
