Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
