I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
