I am in a vortex of obligation.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
