operation harelip BJ is a go
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
