i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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