Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
