I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
