You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
