Dual....:-)
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
