the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I need moral support for this bender
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize