The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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