I've blown a few things in my day
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
