I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
