1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Randomize
