so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
