He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
