Your tits are I can't wait for
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
