I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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