I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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