im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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