What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
