How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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