go do what you do best...puke behind churches
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
