If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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