i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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