He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
never play flip cup with pint glasses
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Randomize
